The Brotherhood Awaits

The Pushup Brotherhood

Join a community dedicated to daily strength, discipline, and the pursuit of physical excellence through the humble pushup.

Right now, the Elders are arguing over protein shake flavors and proper grunt volume. Soon, you will join a brotherhood so strong, even gravity taps out.

The Sacred Constitution of the Pushup Brotherhood

"We bend not to break, but to rise again."

Preamble

In the divine name of sweat, soreness, and symmetry,
We, the Pushup Brotherhood, hereby unite:
To press our bodies from the Earth,
To battle gravity daily,
And to never, ever skip chest day again.

Let it be known:
This Brotherhood is forged not in ease,
But in reps, groans, and the occasional motivational meme.

Article I – Of Brotherhood and Buffness

Section 1: Who We Are

We are the pushers of Earth,
The priests of pecs,
The knights of knuckle calluses.
Whether we push ten or a hundred, we do so with honor (and questionable form before coffee).

Section 2: Our Purpose

To master the sacred Pushup: the plank, the drop, the rise.
To mock the myth of "I'll start Monday."
To uplift our comrades—sometimes literally, with a buddy pushup.

Article II – The Law of the Rep

Section 1: Form First

Let the chest kiss the ground (gently, not romantically),
And the arms rise in full glory—no half-reps, lest ye be cursed with eternal noodle arms.

Section 2: The Sacred 100

Rain, shine, heartbreak, or hangover—
A brother must push.

The target is clear:
100 pushups every day. No less. More if glory calls.
They may be broken into sets, done at sunrise, lunch, midnight, or while brushing teeth.
But they must be done.

Excuses shall be repelled by willpower and caffeine.

Section 3: The Sacred Set

Every moon cycle (aka a month),
The Brotherhood shall embark upon a mighty Challenge.
All who complete it shall be blessed with gains,
And all who fail must shout, "Forgive me, chest-father, for I have slacked,"
Before completing the Redemption Set (50 pushups or until the floor begs you to stop).

Article III – The Ranks of Righteous Repping

Novice of the Nipple Sore – Has begun. Chest is confused.
Disciple of the Burn – 7 days in. Can no longer laugh without pain.
Wielder of the Wide Grip – 30 days strong. Pushes in dreams.
The Unyielding Chesticle – 100 days. Floor fears them.
The Elders of the Elbow Snap – Ancient beings who whisper "One more rep" in the wind.

Article IV – Rituals of Iron and Laughter

The Initiation Push: 20 pushups in public or in pajamas—both equally brave.
The Flex of Truth: Upon joining, one must flex in the mirror and say, "It's not much… but it's honest work."
The Challenge of Absurdity: At least once a year, all members must attempt handstand pushups or pushups in costume. Documentation required. Shame optional.

Article V – Amendments and Other Nonsense

Changes to this Constitution must be submitted in a group chat, scroll, or bathroom mirror.
Approval requires at least two thumbs-up emojis, or a motivational grunt from the Elders.

Final Words of the Brotherhood

We shall push,
We shall puff,
We shall rise when life knocks us down—
Even if our arms scream like tortured noodles.

We are the Pushup Brotherhood.
We don't skip.
We don't cheat.
We just push.
Again. And again. And again.